Saving the World is Just a Hobby
by PenSmith433
Summary: What if Sarah-Jane already had a child living in her house when the Bane came to earth. What if this girl was along for each and every episode. What if she was alien? T for swearing
1. Invasion of the Bane: Part 1

"Come on Chrissie," Sarah-Jane said to me, "New day, new life,"

"Sarah," I said, looking at her, "We're back from seeing your office, and it's not a new life, not that much anyway,"

"Don't be cheeky," she said, pulling into our drive.

"Cheeky?" I asked, "Not me, never," I smiled as I opened my side of the car door, and looking across the road, "Did you know we were getting new neighbours?"

"Err," she said, standing next to me, looking at the delivery van, "No,"

"Cool," I said, smiling as a girl the same age as me walked towards a blue car, "Finally some real people,"

"Hey," she swatted me, "Don't I count?"

"You will always count," I said to her, "Never forget that," she just laughed and went inside the house.

"Hi," said the girl. I smiled at her, and nodded.

"You new here?" I called to her.

"Just moved," she said.

"I'll see you around then," I called.

"Hope so," she called back to me and I waved before going inside the house.

"Well the girl is sure friendly," I said to Sarah, as I went into the kitchen, "I wonder how long it will be until Kelsey descends,"

"I don't know," she said, "And have you seen that article I did on that school?"

"Under the sofa," I said, "Middle room, on a layer of 2.5 inches of dust,"

She looked at me, "You're getting better,"

"I've been practicing," I said, "It's to contact..." I trailed off, "I'll get your article," I left the room pretty quickly and felt under the sofa. I grabbed the article, "Gotcha," I went back into the kitchen, handing the paper to Sarah-Jane.

"Thank you," she said.

"How's your work with Bubble Shock?" I asked her, "Have they agreed to you having an interview with them?"

"No," she said, "And I grow increasingly worried about the product as a whole,"

"Have you ever thought about breaking into the factory?" I asked her.

"No," she said, "I try and avoid all that. Anyway, I wouldn't know how to get into the factory to begin with, let alone how the schematics are in that place,"

"I know," I said, "You could follow the bus,"

"Bus?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, "The Bubble Shock bus, it's free and take's you around the factory, giving you loads of free pop in the process, I got it off Ryan down at school,"

"Sounds decent," she said, "How can we get in?"

"Follow it," I said, "I can try and hack the factory layout, and then we sneak in through the front entrance,"

"Surely we could just get on this bus?" she said.

"Well that wouldn't be much use," I said, "All that would do would be that we would have to go round the official tour. That isn't interesting, and I'd prefer to know the unofficial details,"

"You're exceptionally smart, you know that?" she said.

"Thanks," I said, "I'm sure Mr Smith would help us," I smiled as I jumped up the stairs three at a time.


	2. Invasion of the Bane: Part 2

**Completely forgot about the disclaimer. If you haven't cottoned on, i don't own anything to do with the SJA or DW. I've wished on many stars but sadly never come true.**

**Now on with the show!**

"I was just thinking that," she said, as we walked upstairs, "You're very like your parents, you know?"

"Am I?" I asked, "I'd like to think I'm a bit like you,"

"Nosy?" she asked.

"All the time," I said, laughing, as we went into the attic, "Mr Smith, we need you," the computer came up, "Get me the schematics and layout of the Bubble Shock factory, please,"

"Sarah-Jane?" asked the computer to her, "Do I have to do this?"

"Yes, Mr Smith," said Sarah, "Chrissie knows not to use your data bank for hacking into Torchwood and UNIT files anymore,"

"Yes, I know all about that, Sarah," I said, "Sorry, Mr Smith,"

"Glad to hear it," he said, "I wish never to hack into those data banks again,"

"You don't mean that Smithy," I said, "You were as interested as I was,"

"I will pretend not to hear the Time Lord Child," he said.

"I take offense," I said to him, before turning to Sarah, "I told you he would sound cool with Alexander Armstrong's voice,"

"I know," she said, "We're investigating the Bubble Shock factory, and the drink,"

"They have not returned my calls?" he asked.

"No," I said, "Or my emails, or anything? That obviously smells of a cover up,"

"They might just be private," said Sarah.

"With a magic ingredient called Bane?" I asked her, "Which resisted every analytical approach that I performed on it?"

"I do admit that sounds odd," she said to me, "Which is why we need to get into that factory,"

"I am downloading the necessary files now," said Mr Smith.

"You're amazing," I said, tapping a few buttons on the monitor, "What are your views on the Bubble Shock, Smithy?"

"I do not have views but the facts," he said.

"Then what do you conclude from the information?" I asked him, "Surely you could make some prediction?"

"From what I gather from the facts that I have gather, it is impossible to make any preliminarily judgment," he said.

"Well you're a lot of use," I said, "What does your magnificent crystalline alien mind tell you?"

"That we cannot afford to make any hasty judgments," he said.

I kicked him, "Hunk of tin," I said.

"I believe you are referring to the dog," he said.

"Not at the moment, Splinter,"

"Was that designed to be an insult?"

"Stop you two," said Sarah, "Have you both quite finished?" I nodded, "I never know how you manage to get him to argue back,"

"My higher evolved brain," I said to her.

"Really?" she said.

I smiled, "No," I whispered, before speaking louder, "Have you downloaded the maps yet?"

"Printing," he said, and I picked up the sheets of paper, before looking at it, "Is it to Miss Chris' standard?"

"It's perfect," I said, "We'll go through the main entrance,"

"Today?" Sarah asked,

"Can we try it tomorrow?" I asked her, "I would rather plan out a route," she nodded to me.

"Incoming alien detected," said Mr Smith, and we turned back to the screen, "Species: Star Poet. Planet: Arcatine 5,"

"Where will it land?" asked Sarah.

"The backyard," he said.

"What a coincidence," I muttered, "Can we send her home?"

"I believe so," he said, "Time of impact, 2:15 am,"

"Another late night," I murmured and Sarah nudged me, "I'm not complaining," I called to her as she ducked out of the attic, "I wasn't complaining," I told the computer.

"Of course not," he said to me. I narrowed my eyes at him and left the room, grabbing a hunk of metal on my way out. I ran my fingers over it and it hummed and made a noise.

"Chrissie?" Sarah asked me, as I sat on the kitchen table, and made light humming noises with it, "Want to do Music GCSE?"

"That's a laugh," I said, "What am I going to play? A hunk of metal from a planet, far, far away? Like they'd believe me,"

"You never know," she said, "It is a universally recognised instrument,"

"But not an earthly one," I said, pulling the papers towards me, placing the instrument to one side, "Let me see that,"

"How do we get in?" she asked.

"By car," I said, "Look," I pointed to the electronic gates on the map, "These open for twelve seconds before staying open for six seconds, and take twelve seconds to close. Now the bus will start to move forward before the gates are fully open, human habit. It takes a bus to get past in seven seconds, leaving us enough time to get in before the gates fully closed,"

"Clever," she said, "One question? What if they see us?"

"Ahh," I said, "I have no idea, could knock out the cameras but then they'd know there was intruders. Could replace the image, but then they'd wonder,"

"I thought you were smart?" she asked.

"I'm only fourteen," I said to her, "Anyway, the chances of them watching a boring camera is..."

"Four thousand to one," said Mr Smith from upstairs, "Taking the result from the average human concentration span,"

"There you go," I said, "Just because you're an extraordinary human, doesn't mean they are," I looked at the maps, "I'm going to email them one more time,"

"Why?" she asked.

"Give them one more chance," I said to her, "What harm could it cause?" I skipped off to the computer and typed a formal request into the email server, before sending it, "Accept this invitation, please," the result came up, negative. Bubble Shock had blocked us.

"No luck?" she asked me.

"It's not like we're doing anything wrong," I said, "We're just lobbying them to give you an interview, a look behind the scenes. They could easily fudge the truth, but all they're doing is making us suspicious,"

**Please review, I'll be happy and you'll have done your one good deed for today. I might move this also to just the SJA category.**


	3. Invasion of the Bane: Part 3

The TV was switched on and a Bubble Shock advert came onto the screen, 'Bubble Shock, for maximum performance,' I was mouthing the words along to the ad, 'No added sugar, no concentrates. Bubble Shock, contains Bane!' the TV was promptly turned off by Sarah-Jane.

"Why does it always do that?" she asked.

"Switch it off at the wall," I offered, typing into the computer, tapping fast, "Then it wouldn't turn on, every time an advert for that ghastly drink came on,"

"You don't actually like it?" she asked.

"One of the two percent, me," I said, carrying on typing, "Aren't I glad for it,"

"What does it taste of?" she asked.

"Don't know," I said, "Took one sniff of it, and threw up in the bin. I ain't trying it,"

"Good," she said, "We don't know what is in this stuff and I want to find out,"

"Cheers to that," I answered her.

"Who are you emailing?" she asked me.

"Jack,"

"Captain?" she asked me.

"Which other Jack do I know?" I asked her, "I'm just telling him that his firewalls are hopelessly lacking and anyone could hack into them,"

"Like you've done on that tab," she asked, pointing to the top right-hand corner of the screen, "I can use computers, Christinasoljacquelinevamana,"

"I hate it when you use my full name," I said, bringing up the databank of Torchwood, "Yeah," 

"You have got to stop that," she said.

"I'm trying to collect data," I said to her, "I'm trying to amass a database which holds all the life in the universe. Mr Smith is helping me,"

"Quite a project," she said, "But you'll be there forever,"

"I have time," I said, "I'm going to send a copy to the TARDIS when I'm finished and she can run it over with any other species, that she's encountered. I'm also inputting any experiences that we've had into the database, so we don't forget,"

"Like a diary?" she asked.

"Exactly," I said, "I'm hoping to make it available to the government, UNIT, Torchwood, and the TARDIS, so we can place all experiences into the database, so it can be a shared thing,"

"I hope you make it," she said.

"Thanks," I said.

"We'll I'm going to finish my article, so you have fun,"

"You too, Sarah-Jane," I said, smiling at her as she left the room. I quickly hacked into the Torchwood computers and into Jack's computer, making a video link appear on his screen, "Hello?" I placed a headset on, "Anyone home?"

Ianto's face came into the picture, "Hello Chris," he said, "Hacked into our computers again?"

"Yeah," I said, "Hi, Ianto," I waved, and he waved back, "Do you have anything called security measures on your computers?"

"I'm not sure," he said, "That's more Tosh's league,"

"Right," I said, "Because it took me less than three minutes,"

"Shouldn't you say less than five minutes?" he asked.

I thought about this, "Mmm, it was more than two minutes, and less than three. I like to be accurate,"

"I'll get Jack for you," he said.

"Thank you," I said, as he disappeared.

"Jack!" he called off screen, "A little girl wants to talk to you,"

"Really?" I heard Jack call, "Hold on one second," he appeared in the screen, "Chrissie, how are ya?"

"Well you would know if you had been reading my emails," I said to him.

"Ahh," he said, "I've been out of town,"

"You were way out of town, mate," I said, "You dropped off the planet, you went through a hole in time,"

"It's hard to explain," he said.

"I thought your teleporter didn't work?" I asked.

"It doesn't," he said.

"That doesn't explain your rapid teleporting ability," I said, "I've been tracking you, Jack, and you've been jumping from place to place over the last couple of the weeks, shortly stopping five days ago,"

"How did you track me?" he asked, "I would have known,"

"I recently infected you with tiny nanogenes that have spread throughout your body," I admitted, "My own little GPS system,"

"Get rid of them," he said.

"I don't think I will," I said, "I like knowing where you go," I smiled, "Now, care to tell me why you travelled to the end of the universe,"

"Not particularly," he said, folding his arms, "I was killed several time, you know?"

"Shame," I said, "Did I happen to mention that I have complete control over the Hub, and can send you into lockdown by a single button?"

"No," he said, "You hacked into the data bank,"

"I've been telling you for months that you need to get firewalls and security shields in Torchwood, but you insist that you'll never be hacked,"

"Apart from you?" he said, "All right I'll tell you,"

"Goody," I said, "Fire away, I'm sure it would make a particularly thrilling story,"

"I met up with your Dad," he said, and I leaned forward, "He sends love if you want to know,"

"Duly noted," I said, "That doesn't explain your rip in time,"

"I grabbed onto the TARDIS, and it jumped to the end of the universe," he said, "We met up with a group of cannibals and got to safety. Me, the Doctor and Miss Martha Jones,"

"Who?" I asked.

"A friend," he said, "Anyway, we helped them fly away in a rocket, and the professor that we were helping turns out to be this evil Time Lord, the Master,"

"Dad said that he died," I said to him.

"Clearly not," he said, "Anyway, he nicked the TARDIS, went back to present day Earth, constructed his alter ego as Harold Saxon,"

"Saxon?!" I asked him, "Ahh,"

"Tell me about it," he said, "We got back to here, using my teleporter, which the Doctor had fixed. Tried to solve the problem,"

"Like when you three were named Public Enemy Number Two?" I asked, "I saw that,"

"Yeah," he said, "Got on board the Valiant, tried to get to the Master. The Doctor was turned old, I was shot, and Martha was beamed on Earth,"

"How come I don't remember any of this?" I asked him.

"That's the problem;" he said, "For a year, Martha travelled the world, and then came back to the Valiant, where the Master was reigning supreme. The Master was shot, your dad was turned young, and the world was turned back a year,"

"And I wasn't in the eye so I can't remember?" I said to him, "What was I doing?"

"Well, I don't really know," he said, "I think the Doctor told me that you were killed, at the beginning, but as I'm not with him now, I can't tell for sure,"

"That's nice to know," I said, "Thanks for that Jack. I appreciate it,"

"Care to stop hacking our computers?" he asked.

"No," I said, "It's interesting,"

"And annoying," he said.

"So are you, but you aren't going to stop being who you are," I said, and checked my watch, "I'll see you Jack, homework,"

"You keep up with that schoolwork, young lady," he said to me.

"Yes, sir," I said, "You're worse than UNIT,"

"Still checking up on you then?" he asked,

"Like hell they are," I said, "I feel like I'm an alien instead of a normal person,"

"Well, you aren't exactly normal," he said, "No offense,"

"None taken," I said, "It's hard, you know? You know all this exciting stuff, and you're way ahead of your class, but you can't tell anyone, and everyone looks at you because you're clever. I hate it,"

"There are always gonna be things that you hate," he said to me, "Can't do nothing about them," I sighed, "Chin up," he warned me, "Your life is amazing, be lucky that you get to experience it,"

"Yeah," I said, "I will,"

"And I'll try to get to see you soon," he said, "Being cooped up with Miss Smith will drive you mad,"

"She wonderful Jack," I said, "I couldn't have a better friend,"

"Do I factor into that?" he asked.

"Of course you don't," I said, "Say hi to the team for me?"

"Of course Chrissie," he said, "Now about this Bubble Shock business,"

"That isn't anything to do with you," I said, "Our catchment area, our alien. Just don't drink the pop,"

"Yes ma'am," he said, "See you soon Chrissie,"

"See you soon," I said, "And tell Ianto, I'm going to kill him next time I see him. I'm not a little girl,"

"Will do," he said, and I cut the transmission.

"Have a nice chat?" called Sarah, from upstairs.

"Yes," I said, typing, "How's your article?"

"Coming along," she said, "Just do your homework,"

"Can't I do it...?"

"No, don't leave it to the last minute; you go back to school next week,"

"Yes, sir," I said, bringing up a document, "Can't you do this? You are the journalist,"

"Call it practice," she said. I rolled my eyes as I started tapping on the keyboard.

I finally finished at half ten, finishing the document. I finally saved it and slumped back in my chair. Sarah-Jane would look it over anyway and I would be free from all homework for the rest of the holiday. I trudged up to the attic, and sat in a chair, "Finished?" asked Sarah to me.

"Yes," I said, "Finally,"

"It'll do you good, you know," she said, "Get it done as fast as possible, then you'll done,"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, snuggling down into the chair, "When is this Star Poet coming again, Smithy?"

"Two fifteen am," he said.

"That should be a laugh," I said, "I'll be wrapping up,"

"Oh good," she said, "It'll be wonderful to see a real Arcanian, not just the blue print,"

"I suppose," I said, "Don't suppose we'll get a snap shot?"

"I don't think so," she said, "Be a bit rude,"

"Well, I'll let them take one of me, and then I get one of them," I said, "Trade, a picture of an alien for a picture of an alien, equal rate,"

"Don't be so materialistic," she said.

"Who me?" I asked, "Never. What would I want for?" I smiled at her, "I have everything I could ever want,"

"You're so optimistic," she said.

"Never," I said, "I am realistic. I have you, the best secret in the world, and a happy life. What more could I want?"

"Your father visiting more?" she asked.

"Dad is always going to be busy," I said to her, "He's never going to have that much time for me. And the life he leads isn't always the best one. He learns about other worlds. I learn about life on Earth, and live it. He can never have that,"

"Are we all as lucky?" she asked.

"I would prefer having a stable life than everyone withering away before me," I said.

"That will eventually happen," she warned.

"Not if I live in the present," I said, "Not if I forget about future and what will happen to all of us. Treasuring all that happens, every breath, every sigh. We're all getting older Sarah-Jane, but we don't have to think it,"

"You are wise beyond your years," she said.

"I've had a good teacher," I said, smiling at her. We both laughed, and chatted for a few hours, as the night turned dark. The minutes ticked past and soon it was time to go downstairs and out into the garden, "What say you, Smithy?"

"The Star Poet will be entering orbit in thirty seconds," he said.

"Ahh," I said, running out of the door, and downstairs, before going into the garden, where a pink light erupted in a symphony of shades, "Oh, that's beautiful,"

"Wonderful," said Sarah.

I walked forward, _"Hello?" _I spoke to the luminescent creature that spreading herself wide, _"I'm Christinasoljacquelinevamana, welcome to Planet Earth. Call me Chrissie."_

The creature looked at me, before reaching out with her mind, _"I am the Star Poet, Miss Chrissie,"_

"What is she saying?" asked Sarah.

"Just introducing herself," I said, _"This is Sarah-Jane Smith," _I gestured to Sarah, _"She doesn't know how to communicate telepathically, so I'll have to translate for her,"_

"_She is human?"_ asked the Arcanian.

"_Yes, I live with her,"_ I said, _"You crashed here,"_

"_My pod,"_ she looked towards the wreckage.

"Chrissie?" asked Sarah.

"Just introducing you," I said, "Saying that her pod is crashed,"

"Can you fix it?" she asked.

"Mr Smith can help me," I said, and looked at the alien, _"I'm going to fix your pod, if you try and override the barriers on Sarah-Jane's mind you can try and communicate,"_

"Will you help me, Time Lord?" she asked

"_I'm only a child," _I said,_ "Not a Time Lord,"_

"_As you wish it,"_ she said. I closed my eyes and focussed on the barriers on Sarah-Jane's mind. They broke with a snap.

"Oh," said Sarah, "I can hear, she's in my head,"

"_Thank you Miss Sarah-Jane," _said the Star Poet. I quickly went over to the pod, and got out my sonic pen, and ran it over the pod.

"_Calibrations are all set,"_ I spoke to both of them, _"Powering up in one minute,"_ I walked over to stand next to Sarah.

"_Thank you," _the Star Poet said, _"Take this," _she handed an object to me, and I looked at it, _"Call if you ever need help with your poetry,"_

"_We will," _said Sarah, _"We promise, and good luck,"_

"_Peace be with you,"_ she said, and shot off into the sky with a shower of glitter.

"What is it?" asked Sarah, looking at the object.

"It's a communicator," I said to her, "You contact people with it,"

"I know that," she said to me, "How does it work?"

"It's like a phone," I said, "You input the data, or think it and your thought waves are sent to the other, and she answers them,"

"Just her?" she asked.

"Oh no," I said, "You could call up anyone with this. Arcanians, Judoon, the Shadow Proclamation, if you have the right code,"

"Amazing," she said, "And so beautiful,"

"It sure is," I said, "Come on, I'm..." I whipped round to look at the garden.

"Something the matter?" she asked me.

"Someone was here," I said to her, "Someone who isn't supposed to be,"

"I'm sure it was nobody," she said, "And anyway, who would believe us?"

"Got that right," I said smiling at her, "Come on, I'm freezing, and tired,"

"I thought Time Lords didn't sleep?" she asked me.

"Therein lies the problem," I said, "I am half Time Lord, and not even a fully grown one. I need sleep,"

"Your Doctornish is dominant though," she said, "I can guarantee that,"

"Sure," I said, "Who wouldn't?" we walked up the stairs and I went into my bedroom, switching off the lights.

Sarah followed me in, "We're a sort of a family, aren't we?" she asked me.

"If you want to be," I said, "I think we are. A rather unconventional family but we can't have everything,"

"Thank you," she said.

"What for?" I asked,

"For getting her to talk to me," she said, "Goodnight,"

"Night Sarah," I said, wriggling into the covers, and dozing off. I slept like a log that night.


	4. Invasion of the Bane: Part 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own SJA, never have, never will, never shall. I do however own a very nice collection of books which really amounts to my world-wide possessions**

"Get off," Sarah said to me, as she was cleaning the surfaces the next day, "I want you to post a letter for me,"

"Why?" I asked.

"Bills," she said, and handed me the letter, "Don't unconventionally lose it,"

"What me?" I asked, hopping down from the table, "I never lose things. The exact place is all in my mind, I just forget sometimes,"

"Exactly," she said, "Now hop it,"

"Sir, yes, sir," I said, jumping down from the table, and looking out of the window, "Oh, Kelsey's got her hooks into the new girl already,"

"Letter," she said, and I quickly left the house, to post the letter. Wasn't I lucky that the post box was only about four steps away from the house?

"Went mad, run away, screaming? My mum's friend, Kath Pontings, she lives down there, kept saying the bloke kept on at her about seeing aliens from out of space," I stopped short when I heard what Kelsey said to the new people. Shit.

"What sort of aliens?" asked the girl. I posted the letter.

"Like it's real," said Kelsey, and I walked towards the house, "Hey, Christinabobblelobble," I sighed when she tried to say my name.

"What?" I asked her, and made my way over to the small group, "Can you not try and pronounce my name?"

"Your name is weird," she said, "Chrissieandolene,"

"Wrong again," I said, and then smiled at the girl, "Hello,"

"Hi, I'm Maria," she said.

"Chrissie," I said.

"Short for Christina?" she asked.

"No, actually. It's a rather long name,"

"Alan Jackson," said the man, "Where do you live then?"

"Just across the road," I said, "Number Thirteen,"

"Hey, Christinavanama," Kelsey said.

"It's Christinasoljacquelinevamana," I said, "Not difficult to remember,"

"I'll say," said Maria, "You've got an unusual name,"

"It's a family tradition," I said, "Most people call me Chrissie or Chris,"

"Nice to meet you," she said.

"Chrissie!" called Sarah, from across the road.

"Coming Sarah-Jane," I said, "I have to go,"

"Is she your mum?" asked Mr Jackson.

"Sort of," I said, "But I have to go," I walked quickly across the road, and went to Sarah, "Talking about aliens again. I think the family before them saw a couple of things,"

"Hi," said Maria, walking along the other pavement, "We just moved in opposite, I'm Maria Jackson,"

"Hello," said Sarah, shortly, before walking into the drive. She chucked me the keys.

"We're going now?" I asked, "Let me get my coat,"

"It's already in the car," she said, "And I've got the maps," I raised my hands up.

"Hi," said Mr Jackson, "Hello there nice to meet you," Sarah-Jane looked back, "I'm Alan, Alan Jackson,"

"Err," said Sarah, not shaking the hand opposite, "I hope you're not going to make much noise, because I work from home, and I don't like to be disturbed," I unlocked the car door, and put the keys in the engine

"OK, nice to be made welcome," said Mr Jackson.

"Sorry," said Sarah turning back to him, "Sarah-Jane Smith,"

"See you then," called Kelsey,

"Yeah," said Maria.

"Where are you exactly going again?" Maria's father asked them, curiously.

"Bubble Shock factory," said Maria, looking with a sceptical look.

"Free bus," called Kelsey, and they walked along. Sarah looked at me, and I raised my hands, what could we do about it? There were always going to be people on the tours.

"Anyway I'm sure we'll get along just fine, it's just me and Maria now. Making a new start of it, bit of a divorce and that. Don't worry it's all been sorted, no shouting. So what kind of work do you do?" Mr Jackson was rambling. Sarah just got into the car, "Really? Well must be fascinating,"

"You're going to run him over," I said, as she started the engine.

"Oh well," she said, as she pressed down on the accelerator.

We passed Kelsey and Maria on the way, and I could tell by their body expression that they were talking about us. "You're making quite an impression," I said to her.

"So are you," she said, "But what do they know?"

"Well they know my full name," I said, "Kelsey was trying to say it, not much luck there,"

"Chrissie," she said.

"Pass me the maps," I said, and she got them out of her coat pocket. I spread them on my lap, "When we get inside we then will proceed to the outer parts,"

"Meaning?" she asked.

"Behind the scenes," I said, "I really want to know was Bane is. It might be organic, but it's nothing what I've seen before,"

"It is all rather odd," she said as she parked, just in front of a pub, a little further up from the bus stop, "I mean, they got their permit in two weeks, rather than years like ordinary products were, they came from nowhere,"

"Which is why we're checking them out?"

"Precisely," she said. The bright orange bus passed us by and I looked at her, "Here we go," she shifted the car into first position and followed the bus.

"I still think I should have made that laser pencil," I said, "Imagine how easily it would be to get into stuff,"

"We aren't going in all guns blazing, Chrissie," she said, "Take the smooth and natural approach, like your father,"

"Dad isn't all softly, softly," I said to her, "His mouth often gets him in the way of the peaceful approach and people nearly always die,"

"Doesn't mean that softly, softly never works," she said, "Just that it can lead to unnecessary damage,"

"Turn left here," I said, she did as I told her, and I waited for the bus to go into the hanger of the factory, "Off we go," I muttered as she pressed hard on the throttle and we zoomed into the factory. We parked just round the corner of the bus. I popped my door open, "I bet they are going to wish that they scheduled an appointment,"

"It would have made life so much easier for them," she said, as I flattened myself to the wall, and peeked round the corner. All the visitors were going into the factory. We quickly made our way towards a door.

A beeping noise erupted from my watch, and I flicked it open, "Huh," I said, "Alien life form detected in this quadrant," I looked at Sarah.

"I knew it," she said, pulling open the door, "I remember doing this with Harry,"

"Isn't he rather old?" I asked.

"He's at NATO," she said, "I don't know what exactly," I rolled my eyes, "Don't look at me like that,"

"I didn't do anything," I said as we walked down a white washed corridor, "I didn't do anything!" there was a gurgling above us, "I don't like that noise,"

"I do admit that I'm not particularly thrilled by that noise," she said, and my watch beeped again, "I've always wonder, what stops the scanner from picking you up on it?"

"Easy," I said, "Just factor the Time-Lord traces out of it, and it will pick up every form of alien activity, apart from Time-Lords,"

"What if there is a Time-Lord?" she asked.

"Well then it won't detect anything," I said, "Could be bad, could be good, but it does register TARDIS' and what's a decent Time Lord without TARDIS?"

"Good point," she said, "You do know that the Doctor stole his TARDIS?"

"No," I said, "Really?" she nodded. We suddenly crouched behind a metal box to avoid some workers. I spotted a door and motioned to it. Sarah-Jane nodded, and we quietly made our way over to it. I got my sonic pen out. The door clicked and I glared at Sarah, "I still can't believe that I had to make mine,"

The door opened to reveal two workers, "Ahh," she said.

"Shit," I said.

"Chrissie," she hissed. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Come with us," said one.

"I really don't think," I said before getting frogmarched to the reception, "This isn't working so well,"

"Really?" said Sarah, "At least we got in,"

"There is that," I mused, before getting shoved into a chair, "Is politeness only for the upper classes?" I asked the workers, who didn't say anything, "Clearly,"

A man walked in front of us, "You have been found trespassing on the Bubble Shock factory,"

"It said that we could view the factory," I said.

"Names?" he said, ignoring me.

"I'm Sarah-Jane Smith," said Sarah, "This is Chrissie Tyler, tell your superior that,"

"Less of the lip," he said.

"Less of the rudeness," I said to him, "Well this is nice," I was chucked a bottle of Bubble Shock. I chucked it back, "I hate that stuff,"

"It's natural," he said.

"Huh," I said, "I don't count pop as being natural, more artificial rubbish,"

"She's very strong minded," said Sarah, "Could you tell your superior?" he walked off, "Chris," she tutted.

"He's rude," I said, "Anyway, that Bubble Shock stuff is nasty, doesn't do anything nice to me," I waggled my fingers, "Get me a banana, and that is natural,"

**Please review, do a good deed for the day**


	5. Invasion of the Bane: Part 5

A woman stopped in front of us this time, "Mrs Wormwood will see you now," she said.

"That's nice," I said, standing up, "Book of Revelations, I wonder is that has any impact on her," we followed the woman into a clean pristine office, and was shown two seats in front of a severe looking woman, who looked like she should be in PR rather than the head of an organisation that sold pop.

A cup of tea was given to Sarah-Jane. I got a bottle of Bubble Shock; I pushed it away from me, not being able to stand the stench that it gave off. "Thank you," said Sarah.

"Sure," I echoed her.

"That's very kind," Sarah-Jane directed the statement towards Mrs Wormwood.

"Think of yourself as our guest," Mrs Wormwood's voice was sharp as a razor with a very west end accent that sort of grated on my nerve endings. I didn't like her.

"We weren't breaking in," said Sarah, making the excuses, "We were just trying to get to someone in charge,"

"We phoned about a hundred times," I said, "Wrote emails, no one would talk to us. Rather strange,"

"Oh I've seen the list," she said, "Phone calls, emails. Miss Sarah-Jane Smith certainly makes her presence felt," she looked at me, "And who are you?"

"I'm on Work Experience," I said, "I've been drafted in to help as it were,"

"Do you mind if I take notes?" asked Sarah, I think she didn't like that woman either.

"Not at all," she said, "And since you've been so bold, let's make this an official interview," I got out my sonic pen and paper.

"If all we had to do is this," I muttered, "Then we should have done this earlier," I took the other end off my pen, and jotted down some notes.

"And it's Mrs Wormwood?" asked Sarah.

"That's correct," the woman in front of us said. I took a glance at my watch, and saw that there was some alien activity around this area.

"That's in the Bible," I said, looking at her, "The Book of Revelations. At the end of the world, it describes a star, which will fall to Earth and poisoning the waters. Thus ends the human race. The star is describes and is called Wormwood,"

"Fascinating," she said, "Shall we move onto business,"

"We're not going to stop you," I said to her,

"I've got contacts in the city," said Sarah, "They said it was like this company dropped in from nowhere and normally it takes years of tests to get an approval from the EU to market a new food stuff. You got it in two weeks,"

"All we're doing is satisfying a need," she said. I wrote down, _hiding something_.

"Which is?" asked Sarah.

"The people are hungry, Miss Smith. New food, new drinks, new tastes. All the Western World does is eat. All day, every day, eating. They gorge, and feast and chew and bite. Everything sweet and hot, and cold and sticky. Just food and drink. That's the human race. They devour,"

I had stopped writing, and just stared at the woman in front of me, "Right," I said.

"Who are we to deny them," she asked.

"So you invented Bane?" asked Sarah-Jane.

"Oh the Bane in Bubble Shock isn't new, Miss Smith," said Mrs Wormwood, "No, it's very, very old,"

"I've never heard of it," I said.

"Come and see," said Miss Wormwood going over to the television screen, where the advert for Bubble Shock was being played. We both followed her, I left my notebook behind, but kept the pen on me, "All the hype, the Bane is completely natural. One hundred percent organic,"

"We've seen the advert thanks," I said, "TV switches itself on when it's being played, rather annoying," I turned to look at her, "But organic what?"

"Oh now don't be silly," she said to me, "I can hardly give away our recipe,"

"I checked with some scientists, I know," I said, not saying that it was myself that did all the work.

"Your social circle sounds fascinating," she mocked me.

"We tried to analyse a bottle of Bubble Shock," I said.

"Oh what's the point of analyses?" she asked me, "It's all chemicals, and sweeteners, and E numbers. The test for a drink, is in the tasting," I looked at the screen, "Have you tried it?"

"No," I said, "I can smell it from here, and believe me, it's revolting,"

"Oh but you must," she said, clicking her fingers and her secretary came over with a bottle.

"Oh no really," said Sarah, "Thanks, we're fine,"

"No, no, no, no," said Mrs Wormwood, "But I insist," I nearly threw up at the smell of it, "A good journalist must submit the complete experience,"

"I can tell the smell of it that it's not going to taste nice," I muttered to Sarah.

"Drink Bubble Shock, Miss Smith, Miss Tyler," she said, "Drink deep,"

Sarah made to take the bottle, and then lowered her hand, "Mrs Wormwood, I'd rather die,"

"Seconded," I said.

"Now," Mrs Wormwood, "We can't have that," she walked back to her desk.

"But those scientists," I said, walking towards her, "They said that Bane reacted very oddly when they tried to test it, as if it resisting the analysis. And nothing could do that. At least nothing on Earth,"

"What exactly are you suggesting, Miss Tyler?" she asked, "That Bane originated from outer space?"

"Of course not," said Sarah, "That would be ridiculous,"

"Wouldn't it though," Mrs Wormwood said, and then looked out of the window, "Go ahead and print your story by all means. But consider you career," I pulled on my leather jacket, "Are you really going to expose this as a kind of alien plot. You'll be considered insane,"

"I don't care what people think of me, never have," said Sarah-Jane, "We just want to find the truth,"

"At such a cost," she said, "I take it," she turned to us, "That you're both single,"

"I ain't answering that question," I said.

"Yes I am," said Sarah-Jane.

"No children?"

"No," she said.

"Such a wasted life," Miss Wormwood said patronisingly.

"You might think so," I said.

"Miss Smith and Miss Tyler are leaving," she said to her secretary, "Lesley will show you out," we followed the secretary to the door, and I turned back.

"By the way?" I asked, "What planet do you come from?"

"Nice try," she said and we were ushered into a life.

I looked at Sarah, cocking my head towards the secretary. She nodded slightly. The secretary placed a hand to her ear, and I looked in the reflective mirror, and guessed the instruction. I whirled around, with my palm outstretched. The secretary was thrown back against the lift, as if a hand had shoved her back, invisibly

"Tah," I said as the door pinged open and we ran out, "Why does this always happen to us?"

"You didn't have to do that," she said.

"Oh you would have rather got eaten?" I asked her, "This way is best," I was just about to go down the stairs when I saw workers, "Go the other way, go the other way,"

"Will it ever be that maybe once they weren't aliens?" she asked me.

"So they are alien now?" I asked her.

"Definitely," she said, and suddenly alarms blared all around us, "Oh dear,"

"That for us or for something else?" I asked her, as we stepped behind a control box, "I'm all out of breathe,"

"We'll stay here until the alarms go off," she whispered, "They must be hiding something,"

"Well do you think all the workers are in on it?" I asked and she nodded, "Oh,"

We quietly crept down a set of metal stairs. I motioned to a ladies lavatory and we quickly went into the toilet, "She should be safe here," she said, but I held up a finger, walking around the room, detecting thought waves, that were panicked

"Someone is here," I said, and then quickly opened a door to see Maria and a boy in a white sheet, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same!" she said.

"Oh," I said, "Humans! Who's the boy?"

"I don't know," she said.

"Sarah-Jane," I said, "Can you take over this, and I'm not feeling too well,"

"All right," she said, "What have they done to you?"

"I knew I had to get away," he said.

"Yeah," I said, "That goes for all of us," I looked around, "They'll be searching in here soon, get out of the window,"

"What?" said Maria.

"Don't argue with her," said Sarah-Jane, "Just do it," they quickly legged it through the window, "Come on Chrissie," I hopped through the window, just as the door banged open.

"Go, go, go," I shoved them forward.

"Come on," said Sarah-Jane, taking the two children by the arm and pushing her towards the car, "Get in,"

"But my friend's in there!" said Maria, "Well I just met her this morning but I'm not leaving her,"

"Well the bus has gone," I said, "Maybe she was on the bus, just get in,"

"I just can't!"

"If your friend wasn't on the bus then she's probably dead," I said to her. I saw the gates closing and buzzed my sonic pen at them. They started opening again.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Sonic pen," I said, "Now get in!" I looked around the corner, and saw people come out of the gates, "Move!" I got into the car and Sarah-Jane started it up, and sped off, "Now there is definitely something wrong with that factory,"

"We always knew that," she said to me, "Just need to prove it,"

"Err, excuse me," said Maria in the back, "But what is going on?"

"Need to know," I said, "And you don't need to know,"

"Excuse me," she said, "You're not much older than me,"

"But so much more wiser," I said, "Just do us all a favour and forget about everything that happened today," I turned back, "Humans!"

"I am a human, thank you very much," she said, "Don't so insulting them,"

"You're extraordinary," I said, "Ohh, dammit,"

"What?" she asked.

"They scanned us," I said, "Remember?"

"I don't see how that is going to help us," she said, "It's just a picture,"

"Sarah-Jane," I said, "Sometimes I think that you tend to be a little thick. What is going to happen when they see my scan? They scan everything, name, age, blood type, species,"

"Ah," she said, "That could be a problem,"

"Hello, people in the back," Maria said.

"I could give her Retcon," I said, "Nicked a load off Jack, last time I was in Cardiff,"

"What does it do?" she asked.

"Wipes memory," I said, "Depending of the dose. I could wipe her memory of the whole day,"

"You aren't going to do anything to me," said Maria.

"Is there a catch?" Sarah asked me.

"Sometimes it doesn't always work," I said, "And too much could permanently damage her mind," I shrugged, "Nothing's perfect,"

"What were you doing outside the tour boundaries?" Sarah asked Maria.

"I heard my friend scream," said Maria, "I went to find her, and ran into," she looked at the boy, "Well him,"

"You didn't think to carry on?" she asked.

"Kelsey's my friend," said Maria.

"Kelsey will be fine," I said, "You'll see, half an hour and she'll show up, good as new, hopefully some sense knocked into her," we pulled into the drive and I got out of the car, placing an arm around the boy.

"But who is he?" asked Maria, nodding to the boy, "What was he doing in that factory. What were they doing there?"

"Ahh, just leave it," said Sarah, "Just go home Maria. We can handle things from here,"

"But there's something going on," we just ignored her, "I saw you both last night," I turned to her, my face stone.

"What did you say?" I asked her. There was silence.

"She said she saw you both last night," said the boy.

"With that thing in your garden," said Maria, "That alien," I was white faced at her.

"Now listen to me Maria," said Sarah-Jane, "Our lives are dangerous, and rule one, we don't put anyone else in danger, especially not a kid,"

"I'm not a kid," she said, "She's look hardly older than me anyway," she nodded to me.

"Chrissie was born into this world," said Sarah, "Doesn't mean that she's from it,"

"I want to know what's going on," she said.

"Maria," I said, "Just go back home. You watch telly; do whatever it is you do. You just live your life as normal. You forget any of this happened. You got that. Stay away from us, Maria," I warned her, "We aren't normal. So for your own sake, back off," we went inside the house and into the living room.

"You did the right thing," Sarah said to me, "She's not to get involved in this life,"

"Then why do I feel so bad?" I asked, "She just wants to know,"

"She's a child," she said, "She can't get involved in any of this, it is too dangerous. Now we have him to worry about," she nodded at the boy, who was just standing around. I closed my eyes and a brief sequence shone in front of my eyes.

"They've worked it out," I said to her, "That know we aren't typical,"

"Oh dear," she said,


End file.
